Please Don't Bother
by BornAsTheSeventhMonthDies
Summary: :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) Don't read this. Please. For the sake of your sanity. It's useless junk.
1. Chapter 1

Why are you reading this? You really should stop. This story has no educational, entertaining, or nutritional value. The only reason this exists in the first place is because I was bored with the world in general, and wanted to lower my IQ few points. I suppose to do that I could have listened to Donald Trump or Justin Bieber, but... *shrug*

Anyway, there's no point to this. It's not a story; it's a dump for words. See?

Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak

Antidisestablishmentarianism

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Yes, those are words.

It's also a dump for ideas. See?

What about...a car that runs on light?

What about...a book made out of chocolate?

What about...a gun that shoots fireworks?

Those would be awesome.

But now I have to do something so that trolls won't report me. (Although, I might be considered a troll, myself.)

So here's a plot.

 _The Seven are on a big robot ship. They are fighting empousai. They kill them. Leo makes tacos._

How awesome was that?

Now let's talk about something. How about two things.

First, let's talk about Trump being an idiot. A total idiot. He says things that don't make sense, that aren't true, and he doesn't have what it takes to be POTUS. He will ruin the world. He already has, really. Did y'all know that he's filed for bankruptcy multiple times? It's true. And he says he's a good businessman...

Next, let's talk about my fourth favorite thing in the world. Chocolate. Chocolate was discovered and invented by the Aztecs. They called it _chocolatl_. It was a bitter drink, made from cacao and milk and chili pepper. No sugar. Then the Europeans came and improved on it, eventually discovering the bar we all know and love today.

Now I'm going to waste your time.

eeifbergbqergbergbvnierihgerneiniergr veofeigboennfq;ofma;efjngqenqowjd qwpefoij'wwekjerp[t[eri45959uhgb33sfjpajnvg.

There you go.

This is useless and meaningless.

This is a waste of your life.

You should just leave now.

You should really do something more productive, such as staring a blank wall for half an hour, or twiddling your thumbs.

Now I shall recite a poem.

 _A poem_.

Thank you, thank you, everyone. *bows* *catches flowers*

Okay! That's it for now! You shouldn't have read any of this.


	2. Chapter 2

Mmmmmm... mmmmmmm...

Wha-whaaaaa! *falls off chair*

Oh. It's you.

Wha-whaaaaa! *falls off balcony five hundred feet and splatters on concrete* *comes back to life cause this is my story and I am immortal*

Why the bleep are _you_ here? Wasn't the last chapter enough to make you not want to come back at all?

Well, if you're here, sucks to be a duck.

...

I mean, sucks to be you.

...

Whatever.

But really, I'm just eating. Eating what? Well, it's The Lightning Thief. IN CHOCOLATE! Thas right, baby. Chocolate books. Makin' a comeback.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmm...

Are you just gonna sit here and read me eat? That's kind of creepy and stalker-ish.

Or do you want more useless junk?

Well, I thought long and hard about the words I said earlier. About you wasting your time. And I think...that I mean EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! Get a _life_ already! You should be doing something productive, like going and hurting Donald Trump physically or something.

I don't know.

Maybe.

 _Someday the sons of light will fill all the earth,_

 _The morning of justice shall have come to it's birth,_

 _So we'll all wave our banners high and free through the air_

 _For the peace and glory we then all shall share_

Don't ask.

...

Fine! It's the Voltes V theme song in English.

Voltes V is awesome. It's a robot that's made up of five different ships that 'volt' together. Then they move together as Voltes. Voltes goes around destroying aliens.

And no, I'm not an anime fan.

Just a Netflix couch potato.

Potatoes are awesome, especially fried.

You're fried.

You're fired.

Donald Trump.

Idiots.

Okay, off my extremely random train of thought.

Let me talk about someone, huh? Tell me: would you rather read stupid stories about my uncle Paul or my friend Kade.

For now I'll tell you stupid stories about myself.

I was walking on a perfectly flat basketball court and I tripped on air, stepped on a ball, went flying back to land on the bleachers, got to my feet, stepped on another ball, went flying forward, knocked the coach down.

And no, it wasn't planned.

And no, that never happened. I was wasting your time by putting lies on my story. Here's another lie:

Donald Trump is awesome and he'll make America great again.

*cringe* That was hard for me to write...

Moderator: Would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another?

Hillary: Well, Mr. Trump is generous. I'll say that he's very generous. Just last week, he handed me the election.

Bye everyone! But you shouldn't have read this, and you definitely shouldn't follow.


End file.
